A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture
was  taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was
not speeding.  Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the
same spot, driving even  more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He
thought this was quite funny, so  he slowed down even further as he
drove past the area, but the traffic camera  flashed yet again. He
tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time  he was
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for
driving  without a seat belt.



 The Cowboy
 
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
 
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew
very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper
for a ranch hand.
 
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house rather than the drunk.
 
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
 
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.   

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
 
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. 

She quietly called him over to her.
'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.  Trembling, he did as she directed.

'Now take off my boots..' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
 
'Now take off my stockings.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
 
'Now take off my skirt.'
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her
eyes in the fire light.
 
'Now take off my bra.'
Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told, and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

'If you ever wear my clothes into town
 again, you're fired.'
 
I didn't see it coming, either!

Free Dog To a Good Home

Free Dog to a good home.
He is housebroken and has his shots.
We have only had him a few days and my wife says he gives her the creeps. I think she's just being paranoid.  Call after 5:00 ask for dave
515-555-1726